BEL AIR, Md. — They may come from all different backgrounds but there's one thing that connects the group of women meeting for coffee in Harford County.
"Divorce is that kind of grounding and shattering experience that we all can identify with regardless of the differences," co-founder of "Sincerely Divorced" Bethany Pace said. "The differences I think actually help us find ways to cope that might not have necessarily come to us naturally."
“Your life is never the same after it," co-founder Hillary Livingston said.
A couple years ago, the co-workers found themselves in a place they'd never thought they'd be going through.
Livingston had a baby on the way. Pace's marriage was ending after 22 years.
They both finalized their divorces in late fall 2022, leading to a less-than-delightful holiday experience.
“I felt like everything around me was crumbling but everyone in the community and everyone around me was feeling merry and jolly," Livingston recalls.
Feeling alone, they found solace in their friendship and eventually, healing.
Hoping to share that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, they founded the support group “Sincerely, Divorced” last year.
“I think it’s really important to be examples of that hope and that’s truly one of the special parts of it as well, we get to be an embodiment of that hope, beyond that fear, beyond that pain," Pace said.
The group has monthly meet-ups, both in-person and virtually. Everyone including men, women and all relationship types are welcome.
Members can ask questions, swap advice, and provide a listening ear. They can also request a message of kindness called Hope Notes, a reference to the notes Pace and Livingston used to pass back and forth at work.
Online, they’ve grown to a following of 60,000 people, reaching far beyond Maryland and the United States.
“We have to pinch ourselves sometimes because we can’t believe how quickly it’s taken off," Livingston said.
“Sincerely, Divorced” treats the traditionally taboo subject not as a failure but rather, a celebration.
"It’s okay to celebrate that you’re divorced, that you’ve overcome a great challenge, that you’re excited about a new life and I think that has resonated with people and why we’ve found so much success in such a short amount of time," Pace said.
Kim DeCoste was the first person to show for the group's in-person meet-up.
“Approximately 50% of marriages end in divorce, unfortunately. I felt like, where are all those people? I felt like they weren’t in my friend group, they weren’t in my family but I knew that they existed somewhere so it’s been great," DeCost said.
“I was divorced for about a year when I found the group, I wish I had it a lot earlier on in the process," Jenn O'Brien, another member of the group, said. " So I know that and I want to give back.”
These women say their lives may have been forever changed by divorce, but thanks to their new community it’s all for the better.
