BALTIMORE — This time of year, people are seeking companionship, and many find it online. But what they don't know is the person they're communicating with isn't always interested in love.
Alan, a Maryland man who did not want to share his full name, said his family member is entangled in a romance scam, and he’s been unable to convince him that the woman he met online isn’t who she says she is.
“Doesn't want to listen to reason. He thinks he's in a real relationship,” Alan told WMAR-2 News Mallory Sofastaii.
“How long has this been going on for? “ Sofastaii asked.
“Close to a year,” Alan responded.
Alan isn't shaming his family member, he wants to get through to him, and he wants him to stop sending the person online gift cards.
“We know he's given away $10,000-$20,000 and he doesn't have a lot to give away,” said Alan.
Supervisory Special Agent Keith Custer with the FBI Baltimore field office said this situation isn't uncommon. Last year, the FBI received 17,823 complaints about confidence-romance scams with reported losses exceeding $652 million dollars.
“It is not unusual for victims of romance scams to lose an average of $50,000-$100,000 and it is not completely unheard of to see sums north of $500,000,” said SSA Custer.
Romance scammers spend months developing these relationships before making an ask.
“And once that level of trust is established, they'll come up with any one of a number of reasons why they need a few dollars to help them out of a sticky situation ,” SSA Custer added.
And it's harder to spot this deceit when you want to believe it's real.
“People are seeking out companionship. They're lonely, and the scammer fills a void and fills a psychological need, and the victims really develop a dependence on that person,” said SSA Custer.
Alan knows that's the case for his family member and hates to see the financial and emotional harm inflicted on someone he cares about.
“He's not paying his insurance, he's not paying his bills, and his phone's turned off,” said Alan. “I mean, it makes me sick. You know, when I think about it, it's just I feel helpless because I want to help him.”
SSA Custer warns these scammers work to isolate their victims, so it's important to regularly have conversations about romance scammers and to share the red flags.
“If someone is speaking in kind of a thick foreign accent, or if you're unable to even get them on the phone,” said Custer. “Bad actors will also try and get victims off of the actual dating platforms as quickly as they can onto a communication app such as WhatsApp.”
Alan said he’s not going to give up on his family member. “You know, there's a point where you have to just let what's going to happen happen, and just keep, keep saying we're here when you're ready, and that's what we're hoping, is that sooner or later, he's ready,” he said.
Alan shared a photo of the woman his family member has supposedly been communicating with. Sofastaii did a reverse image search and found the photos were a match for an adult film star who passed away in 2017.
If you suspect you may be entangled in a romance scam, report it to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center.
And click here to see the other 12 Scams of Christmas.